i am not
they von gay
they von gay is a performer persona - a cockier, sluttier, more courageous version of myself i created for a burlesque show in february 2020.
i am a gardener, a cat person, a pole dance instructor, a kinky sex geek, a burnt out filmmaker, an occasional camera assistant, a dr. pepper fanboi, and an a.d.h.d. anti-capitalist. it has been a struggle to make my values, brain chemistry, and relationship with money play nice together.
now they von gay is my dream job.
i don't dream of labor, but i do dream of joyfully surviving capitalism long enough to rise from its ashes and help build something better.
i am here to make enough money to live the life that i want, in a way that aligns with my values. I am committed to persistently showing up for my natural gifts so i can contribute something meaningful to the collective fight for liberation. when you pay they von gay, i will steward that money so i can continue to work sustainably and resource collective liberation outside of my business. i want you pay me because you want to. they von gay is in the business of desire, not need.
i am so grateful to sex workers like Tina Horn and Lola Davina for sharing their loving adoration of their peers in their brilliant work as sex educators. their speaking and writing fundamentally changed me for the better, and inspired me to take my calling to this work seriously. i believe all sex work should be decriminalized and that all sex workers should be safe from stigma, degradation, violence, and dehumanization. it is crucial that we understand the difference between sex work and sex trafficking- sex trafficking is an unacceptable violation of human rights that must be treated with immense care in it's complex context of capitalism, colonialism, white supremacy, and patriarchy. the difference between sex trafficking and sex work is the same as the difference between human trafficking and a human going to work. human trafficking is exploitation, and a job is a form of labor exchange between willing adults. sex is a normal human function, and a job is required by the social system we were born into. sometimes people love their job, sometimes people hate their job, often people are exploited at their job. exploitation is the issue, not sex work. as long as there is commerce, there will be sex work. pretending that it doesn't exist only makes it easier for exploitation to go undetected.
i believe people of all ages deserve human rights and safety. i also believe adults should have easy access to excellent porn and other valuable sexual services without being surveilled by the government. i believe it is unconscionable to use "human trafficking" and "protect the children" as a buzz words to advance conservative grifts, steamroll everyones right to privacy, make it much harder for people to get valuable services, and do a disproportionate amount of harm to sex workers- who deserve equal protection of the law and abundant blessing from our slutty gay gods.
i owe so much to strip club dancers and male strippers. male strippers have gifted me such a wealth of inspiration and education (special appreciation to Tommy Gun of Male Stripper Academy for his passion for education and his commitment to excellence). i am not a club dancer, not from lack of trying. i have many strengths but performing "woman" is not one of them. i have nothing but the utmost respect and admiration for trans and nonbinary club dancers who have made it work for them, sometimes at great sacrifice and sometimes with great gratification and fulfillment. i also honor and respect that the gender performance required at many strip clubs is exhausting for many cis dancers as well. i have so much admiration and gratitude for the community of strip club dancers for inventing and teaching me the dance form i love, teaching me about cash kink, sex magic, and the deep work and emotional labor required to do the job well. i am not the right fit for the strip clubs in my state and i am not the right fit for male stripper companies either. i am committed to continuously learning more about how i can be in right relationship with all strippers as i keep finding more and more spaces i am a good fit for. i believe the world needs more nonbinary strippers of all stripes because strippers make the world a healthier, sexier, more connected, balanced, and liberated place.
i have so much gratitude for all of you who have supported this dream of mine. your financial support, your connection from the audience, and your heartfelt words. it means the world to me that my contribution matters to you. it feels so good to be appreciated, and i love feeling good.
xoxo west
if you are interested in ethical financial domination services, you may venmo @theyvongay $33, and email theyvongay@gmail.com to discuss our compatibility and potential arrangement.
^^^ from my first photoshoot as they ^^^
Got Questions?
what is sex magic?
to me, sex and magic, much like gender, are vast unknowable concepts more than a specific things. it's impossible to draw a hard line around it, but you know it when you feel it.
when i think of sex, i think of the sensual experience of sexual arousal, and the rich diversity of things that can turn it on. i love sexual arousal so much for it's refusal to conform to societal conditioning.
when i think of magic, i think of mysterious forces that change outcomes and influence events. i think about the patterns of nature, and how rivers look like nervous systems. i believe there is magic everywhere all the time, and i can choose to collaborate with it, or disconnect from it.
when i say sex magic i mean: intentionally collaborating with sexual magical forces to create the kinds of change that move us all closer to collective liberation.
who can book they von gay?
while my bookings page is intended primarily for my local community members, i am happy to discuss travel if transportation and accommodations are taken care of. i am also available for virtual sessions via my fan pages, i can dance for you, we can just hang out together ... oooor you can tell me about other ideas you have for what we could get up to ;)
are online sessions available?
yes! if you want to send some virtual 101 time with they von gay, Fansly is the best way to set that up.
do you teach pole?
yes! i have been an instructor at santa fe pole arts studio since it opened early 2024. check out the website to sign up for my classes, book a private, or book pole party to learn some moves with your friends!
it's not weird to me if it's not weird to you! i made an intentional decision to integrate my sex work persona and my real life more than i have in the past. it is a calculated risk i am taking with open eyes, but i personally feel great about students resonating with and supporting my erotic art & filth. i just ask that you keep in mind that the persona i embody on stage and in content is a separate entity to the instructor i am at the studio.